Gentle revolution

New Place

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 06:36:26 GMT

I'm not the best journal writer in the best of times but I have decided to start up a new blog with the aim of sharing my photography (weddings and all) - mainly a visual diary rather than writing about stuff. So this will be my last post here. Not that I wrote very much. My brand new blog is here: http://adriantuazon.blogspot.com

We also have our new website which was launched not long ago here: http://www.mccheynetuazon.com

busy as usual

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 02:46:05 GMT

Very busy. Weddings all over the place. I'm frantically finishing an album before my next big wedding in November. Ruben is now 8.5 months and enjoying Gymbaroo once a week. He is like the biggest baby in the group. Looking forward to taking him swimming as summer kicks in. Got quotes for blinds for our new place and finalised powerpoints, phone/TV points and miscellaneous furnishings. We move in less than 6 weeks. Time seems to be flying by as Christmas rolls around the corner. I really should be thinking about getting J's present/s soon. There's so much to do between now and then. I have to clean up the garden (remove the crawling vines on the fence) before we move. I have to dismantle the office desk as it won't fit through the door. And of course we have to pack and rationalise. We have lived at Rope Walk for close to 7 years now. The idea of moving is rather daunting. But I am excited. I can't wait.

More surrogate babies have been born to Melbourne Dads.. twin boys to B&A - Ashton and Aiden. And S&J are expecting any day now. Also congratulations to F&C (two mums) for the arrival of beautiful Sasha.

My mum just returned from the Philippines and missed Ruben heaps. She was worried he had forgotten about her as she was away for almost 4 weeks. But he was full of smiles when she said he hello. We babysat J's cousins (6 and 9) on the weekend. I had three children (including Ruben) on my own for a couple of hours while J went to do a wedding. Fun!

I think I've uploaded some new photos since my last post: www.flickr.com/photos/jayado
Now back to work.

Teeth

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 06:31:16 GMT

Ruben is teething. On the weekend, one little tooth appeared in his lower gum. And just yesterday another one appeared next to it. He doesn't appear to be bothered by it at night (not yet anyway) as he still sleeps through but during the day he gets a little grumpy.

I had a nice break (from my day job) last week but shot two weddings on both Saturdays which was ok even though it was tiring. The couple for the second wedding had their ceremony and reception at their palatial house in Eltham. It was a really beautiful rather majestic property. They also had six children under the age of 12! It was fun taking photos of the kids and the house had some gorgeous locations. The food was great too and the string quartet was divine.

Ruben continues to delight us with new and wonderful things. He screeches like a dinosaur. We call him our little pterodactyl. He is starting to impose his will and decides that sometimes when he doesn't want to do something he can simply shake his head from to side to side.

Blah day

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 01:53:12 GMT

I don't feel well today at all but I went to work anyway. I'm on leave next week so I felt I couldn't again take a sickie. We took my mum out to lunch on Sunday to celebrate her birthday - 11th of Sept., a day forever etched in our memory. I will never forget 5 years ago when we dropped her off at her house after taking her out to the movies for her birthday. We heard the news on the radio in the car, we raced home not knowing the enormity of the situation and stayed awake watching TV until 4am! My mum, being a journalist, was called to go to work that night and didn't get much sleep for days.

Our dog, Sharn, died on Friday. I felt sad. She was 14 years old. I lit a candle for her.

We will be enrolling Ruben in 'gymbaroo' - www.gymbaroo.com.au. Introduced to us by a couple in our 'Dad's group', we thought it might be fun for the three of us to do once a week. And to catch up with some new friends. I'm fascinated (and a little scared) by the sort of activities (including singing) we will be partaking in.

Looking forward to my holidays (with J and R).

Our 1st Father's Day

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 06:44:49 GMT

We celebrated our first father's day on Sunday. It was really special. We shared it with a group of other dads for a lunch/afternoon playgroup.

Ruben developed a cold for a couple of days. It was basically the first time he got sick and we were really worried. It peaked on Saturday when he had a runny nose, his eyes were red and teary. He had a sad face for most of the day and just wanted to be cuddled. We didn't have much sleep that night as we woke up every time he coughed which was almost once an hour. And it didn't help when at around 3am after such a windy night, there was a loud crashing noise in the house that made us jump out of the bed. It sounded like an explosion. In less than a second we were in Ruben's room and switched on the light only to find out he was still asleep! J then discovered that a large pile of DVDs had fallen from the bookshelf in the hallway. ugh! We were so frightened. We even thought that someone had broken into the house! I couldn't get back to sleep for ages.

krispy kremes

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 03:28:14 GMT

Ugh! A third Krispy Kreme store will open in Melbourne... this time in Collins St - CBD. Oh no it's too close! The second one will open almost next door to J's school where he works. What will become of us?!

In the home front, Ruben continues to grow and do new things. He is lighting up our lives in unimaginable ways. He is starting to sit up on his own for longer periods without falling over. His play is becoming more complex. He shakes rattle-y toys and picks the tags on the soft toys... and really loves playing with paper! It's now becoming more difficult to read the newspaper while he sits on your lap. He giggles and shrieks a lot. And he rolled over the other day! He was playing on his tummy on the mat when we heard a thump and saw him on his back. We missed it. He hasn't rolled again since. Ruben is loving his food. And I'm now trying every combination possible with pureed vegies.

It's almost Christmas.

photo album

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 02:01:53 GMT

We decided to drop Ruben's 10pm feed last week. And it didn't worry him one bit. He still woke up around 7am the next day... although a little hungrier than usual. We made the change on a Friday night just in case he was going to wake up at 3am. Since Ruben started solids a few weeks ago - two serves a day (lunch and dinner), we found that we were waking him up unnecessarily. He would get upset after finishing his bottle and would take a few minutes to resettle. He is growing up! We expected it but we didn't think it was going to be this soon. The thing is, we now need to learn to sleep earlier (not stay up until 10pm)!

I haven't done Ruben's photo album yet. I have been taking hundreds of photos of him and have printed quite a lot but they mostly end up in a box, given to family and friends or in a photo frame which is fine. But I have 3 dry mount photo albums ready to fill and I haven't done anything with them. This will be my next project. I will start next week. I must do it before he turns one!

Spring soon. The wedding season is approaching...

catch up

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 01:40:44 GMT

It's hard to begin an entry in here if you haven't written in ages. First of all, congratulations on the safe and happy arrival of Dahlia Bethany our dear friends Kirsten and Homer's new baby girl. She was so small, light and fragile when I carried her, I'd forgotten what it was like to have a newborn baby. Ruben is now 6 months old and weighs almost 11 kilos. He is growing fast and is really happy and healthy. We started giving him solids this week. It's been fun to watch him pull faces. He had his first taste of pureed pumpkin, sweet potato, carrot and just yesterday, brocolli. At first, J, gave him too much food too fast and he performed a dramatic vomiting episode not long after. It came out in a torrent of white and orangey gue. Ruben never vomits, so it was like the most dramatic thing that ever happened to him which made us worry. It didn't seem to bother him and continued to play with his toys.

I enjoy making Ruben's food. Boil the vegies in water, puree in nifty food processor, place in ice cube tray, freeze, pop out frozen cubes into sealed bag, label and leave in freezer. I'm not at the stage of mixing the vegies yet. But looking forward to doing zucchini and carrot, brocolli and pumpkin, potato and pumpkin... and maybe avocado and carrot?... soon we go to fruits and cereals.

Ruben had a six month check up with the pediatrician last week and all is well. He is doing all the expected developmental things at this age like grabbing things with either hand, sitting up assisted, looking for a toy that has fallen to the ground, following you around the room with his eyes, squealing, babbling, blurting, grabbing his feet (which is really cute) and putting everything in his mouth. He sleeps really well from 7pm to 7am-ish (with a top up feed at 10pm) and sleeps/naps at least three times a day. New photos here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jayado/show

We are now both working part-time on alternate days except Thursdays when my mum babysits. We've done it this way so we can have Friday to Sunday with just the three of us. Plus, we need to be available for weddings on the weekends. Our mums usually babysit during these times if we have to both work as well.

We are very excited about our new website and the re-branding of our business from 'Jayado Partners' to 'McCheyne & Tuazon'. The brand new website: http://www.mccheynetuazon.com will be launched towards the end of September this year. It's going to have some beautiful images... at least I hope so as I'm producing them. I'm also working on consolidating my folio. The wedding season hasn't quite started yet. July and August are particularly quiet... we only have a couple of bookings. It's too cold for must people to get married. Plus I also prefer not to shoot weddings in winter as the light levels are so low. By September, our weekends will be really busy.

We hadn't seen a movie in such a long time that we saw two one after the other last Friday when J's mum was able to babysit for a couple of hours. We didn't have any popcorn though. I can't remember why.

This winter has been exceptionally cold and dry. But the days are finally getting longer again. I think I'm ready for summer already. I'm getting tired of riding my bike in the frosty mornings.

Today, I looked into putting Ruben on a waiting list for a child care place next year or the following at the University (where I work). We need to have the option just in case we need it. Not sure what our work situation will be like in a couple of years.

This Sunday, we will be attending a rally - a national day of action on same-sex relationship recognition called 'Stand Up for your Love Rights'. It's gonna be huge!

I hope to write something once a week from now on.

Back at work

Mon, 22 May 2006 03:47:08 GMT

Time has flown. Ruben is now 3 months old and A is back at work (part-time). It's weird to be back at work. So much has happened! We are all having an amazing and wonderful time. We are loving being parents and Ruben is growing so well. Ruben is now 13 weeks old and weighs a whopping 8.9kg and is about 68cm long. He is a big baby! Our child health nurse is really great and everytime she weighs him, she exclaims 'gosh he's growing really fast!' While he is off the charts, he is in proportion and is just a big baby and she reckons that he will be a tall kid. He is already smiling heaps and will laugh with a little bit of a giggle. He is holding is head up and his legs are quite strong. He certainly dribbles a lot. And the best thing is he sleeps through the night... from around 7-8pm until 7am the next day. He has a top up feed around 10pm which he doesn't really wake up for. He is also now in his cot in his own room.

We had his Christening on the 22nd April which was attended by more than 150 people on a boat! There was so much love, joy and happy tears that day. Some people flew in from interstate and drove a few hours just to be there. It was a beautiful ceremony conducted by J and participated by our mothers and the numerous godparents. Ruben received so many presents it took us a few hours to open them all the next day. We had a little journal that we had everyone write a message for Ruben to read when he turns 18. It was a great day.

At least once a week, we get to see a movie, do some exercise, go to lunch or dinner while one of our mums babysits Ruben for a few hours. They love spending time with him.

Ok, I thought I'd just update our journal for today while I have some time (at work!). I couldn't find the time to get on the internet at home so LJ was left untouched for a few months. I miss Ruben already.

We're going home

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 20:31:37 GMT

It has been a wonderful, amazing, tiring and poo-filled couple of weeks. The people around us and the ones we meet have been so accommodating, encouraging and empowering. Ruben's birth is an experience that will forever be etched in our minds. And Mozelle will always have a place in our hearts.

We are now back in Burbank staying with my mum's friend, Tita Bong and her family, Judy, Rolly and Marcus. They have welcomed us like their own family. We feel so spoiled. They have fed us, accommodated us and hugged us and loved Ruben as well.

Ruben's passport arrived yesterday morning. It was rather exciting. We went to apply for a social security number for him as well. Something that will be useful for him when he grows up and perhaps decides to work or study in the US.

We then said farewell to our friends at Growing Generations and had lunch with our attorney at his palatial home in a street lined with tall palm trees and a strategic view of the Hollywood sign. We did some final shopping while Ruben was in deep sleep in the baba sling and then it was dinner with the family here and an early night to bed (9pm!). I don’t remember the last time we passed out at 9pm.

Today has been a wonderful bludge, Adrian has a sore throat and Ruben is a bit grizzly but otherwise to slowly pack and get ready for the mega flight home tonight (15 hours) has been enjoyable.

We are so ready to come home but also feel so attached to California. It’s kind of bizarre but I actually visited this area (Burbank and Glendale) way back in 1989 on my first US trip and then the area near where Ruben was born (Rancho Cucomonga) in the mid 90’s when I came to LA. To think some many years later our adventure would be here again. A piece of our heart lay here now in this big, super sized, made over and calorie laden mega land of extremes. It has been a dream come true. Sounds really cliché but that’s exactly what has just happened for us. Ruben is a miracle.

We are going to Tita B’s church down the road today to light a candle. We have done this throughout the entire journey at a little catholic church in the city of Melbourne called St. Francis. It will be fitting to go there today. We will light a candle to say ‘thank you’ for our son Ruben, for the prayers and love we have received from the most special people along the way and from you. We will celebrate and acknowledge the power that is greater than all of us who guards our hearts and our minds.

Our journey continues…

poo-poo man

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 18:45:37 GMT

We are so keen and excited to go home now. It feels like we’ve been here forever. The nights are getting a little better as we work out a routine of sorts. Ruben sleeps in three hour fragments and we feed him when he wakes up. He has ‘slept in’ a couple of times for up to 5 hours and we have done the same. We are starting to understand his cries and moods. He is also drinking more and more. He does sleep a lot during the day, especially in the car. And the sling which we love wearing always puts him to sleep. We spent about an hour at Barnes & Noble (like a Borders bookstore) browsing magazines and books and Ruben slept ‘like a baby’ in the sling.

On Monday we went to Riverside to visit Mozelle. I took a few photos of Rick, Mozelle and Ruben and also more of the girls. Bailey was really cute as she gently gave Ruben a hug. Then we went out to lunch with Mozelle and her sister Janis. Rick stayed home with the kids. We went to Mozelle’s favourite Mexican restaurant, Acapulco, and enjoyed each others company. We talked about babies and food. Mozelle shouted us to Baskin & Robbins afterwards. We got the ‘small’ size chocolate thickshakes (which is about a regular size in Australia) while she bought the largest size you can get which is so big it can probably be shared between three people.

We were told by our lawyer that it may not be possible for Ruben’s passport to arrive in time before we leave. We are due to fly back to Melbourne on Saturday 25th Feb. His birth certificate was not going to be ready until Wednesday (22nd). And the passport application process which requires the birth certificate and involves making an appointment with the passport agent and then sending the forms by FedEx (fastest way) to Washington DC (because no LA offices had appointments for us available until next week), and then returned to Burbank… would take up to 4 days!

But today, like the past few days, was a day of miracles and blessings…

We were able to obtain Ruben’s birth certificate from the San Bernardino County Dept of Public Health one day early! Jason was told that it was not due until tomorrow. But he asked (begged) the lady at the counter if we could have it by the end of today. The office closes at 3pm but as Jason put on his saddest face… the lady offered to do it within the next few hours. We were told to come back at 3.45pm. We were so relieved! We then raced to find a place that took passport photos. Jason took a guess by approaching the San Bernardino City Hall. There we found the office that accepted passport applications – by chance! But it was already 3pm and passport application appointments end at 3pm. The staff in the office were so captivated by Ruben and in the course of getting his photo taken we find out that the man taking the photo is a passport agent and he happily offered to do our application right then and there even after the 3pm cut-off. We didn’t need to make an appointment either! So after a few phone calls to our lawyer to verify things (and a few hundred dollars later) we rushed to the nearest FedEx place to send our completed forms. We made it there 15 minutes before it closed! Yey! Now Ruben’s passport application should be on its way to Washington DC and he should have his passport by Friday, a day before we leave.

We stare at Ruben’s birth certificate. And we read it over and over. We think we are probably the first Australian male couple to have our names with Parent & Parent on our child’s birth certificate. How exciting!

I, Adrian, had the first stressful situation while changing Ruben’s poo-ey nappy in the car. Jason had to pop over to the shops to get some supplies – eg. a charge card for the cell phone and drinks. While I was cleaning him up, I was not prepared for the fountain of wee that followed and the explosion of poo that erupted from his bottom. Obviously I was changing him too soon as he hadn’t finished. Luckily, I had the fresh nappy ready under his bottom so it caught most of the poo but some still spilled on the car seat and in my hands, my clothes and on his clothes and socks! Yey! So I frantically (and as calmly as I could) cleaned up the mess but as it was getting dark and the carpark didn’t have any lights for some reason, I could hardly see anything! I didn’t think to turn on the lights inside the car. While I was doing all of this, of course Ruben is crying and getting very distressed kicking his legs and flailing his arms - not being very helpful. It felt like 30 mins, but Jason was only gone for under 10 mins. When he returned, we were all cleaned up and I was giving him a feed. Phew. I managed that one fine.

Last night Ruben slepp 5 then 3 then 3 hrs…WOW he takes care of us too. We will write again soon.

World's newest ABBA fan

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 03:21:36 GMT

The Birthday part II:

After all of his initial tests it was off to the nursery for further tests. Because he was such a big baby, they were worried about blood sugar levels and diabetes. It was certainly when they checked about an hour after he was born. So for the next 6 hours and then before every feed during the night they pricked his heel to take blood samples. He didn’t complain about the pain, unlike daddy Jason here who would have had his first fainting attack! His blood sugar levels were fine. They performed that many tests on him we lost track. He passed all of them including the ‘Californian’ hearing tests. The head nurse at the nursery was really lovely and matter of fact.

While at the nursery we were told to go home for the night as there was nowhere for us to stay and that the nursery would take care of our son. I was like, umm I’m sorry but we are not letting him out of our sight. They belatedly found us a private room - an unused waiting room, where we were allowed to sleep for the night and have Ruben with us (in the nursery crib). So we slept on the floor, fed Ruben every 2-3 hours and wheeled him to the nursery every now and again for his tests and changed his nappy. Mozelle was in her room recovering and resting and we said we’d see her the next morning.

That night our first and only visitors came by. Beautiful Catherine and Anthony who brought us some yummy tacos and some blankets and pillows which really helped make the limited sleep we had better. They held Ruben and we asked them who he looked like? Catherine said: "He looks like a baby!" It was so good to see their faces.

Around 8am we had to get birth certificate details finalized and the insurance mess fixed and thank God everything is now ok. Then we knocked on Mozelle’s door to visit and introduce her to our son. She held him and we could tell she was thinking just how did I squeeze him out! She looked really proud and really beautiful with her glasses on and her hair out. We hadn’t actually seen her with her glasses on. She’s always worn contacts. She looked simply gorgeous and quite sophisticated considering she just gave birth to an almost 10pound watermelon. I went out and got us all some brekkie while Adrian, Mozelle and Ruben had some time together. The next few hours we just chatted about everything. Just typing this email brings forth a well of love for this lady that I really can’t describe. Mozelle is such a is a strong, caring and intelligent woman. She is also funny and has the capacity to give gifts that most people can’t.

That afternoon Rick and the kids and Mozelle’s sister, Janis, came by. Bailey and Brooke met Ruben for the first time. They were quite fascinated. Bailey wanted to touch Ruben with her sticky fruit roll-up hands. Brooke asked Adrian: “Do you like your baby? I like your baby.”

I had a shower (I felt so stinky). We then left Mozelle’s family to have a nap and Ruben was due for another nursery visit.

By 5 pm we were told we’d be able to leave after 7pm (24 hours minimum stay). So we went back to Mozelle’s room. She had another hold. We ordered Dominos pizza. It was so good, Mozelle ordered for us and it was yummo! Pepperoni and Jalapeno’s!!! I must confess that I (Jason) love the junk food binge I go on while I am here. Donuts, pizza, Mexican, super size soda’s, chicken strips ! Much to Adrian’s horror but obviously happily eats with me as well. The nurse took Ruben away for his 24 hour tests and the results were all excellent. We found out Ruben has both of his Dad’s blood type: A+. We signed the papers and had our bands removed and so we could officially go.

The moment where we would be on our own had arrived. We put him in the car seat and kissed Mozelle good bye for now and gave her a little gift from Australia. As we headed to the lift and headed to the lobby we felt a strange kind of excitement mixed with a little bit of anxiety. Is someone going to stop us? We are on our own. It was cold and raining. I got the car and it was a beautiful sight to see my husband Adrian and my son standing at the entrance waiting for me to pick them up!! The reality of our dream realising itself hit us. Omigod, we are a family!

I have never seen it rain before in LA. It was cold, dark and wet as we drove to Catherine and Anthony’s house. They live only 5 minutes from the hospital but we got so lost in the rain it took us almost an hour to get there. It was very frustrating specially coz we were so keen to get 'home'.

The first night was difficult. We hadn't had much rest already and Ruben was really unsettled. We were still working him out and understanding him. Plus he was also trying to work out the big world outside the womb. We only got to sleep from 4.30am. Ruben slept through till 10am and we did the same. As we were getting hungry we decided to go on our first outing around midday to get some lunch and baby supplies. It was certainly fun. We got to use the Baba sling which we love wearing. And Ruben loves being in it! He sleeps straight away. A lot of people don’t realize we have a baby in the sling (as we don’t think it’s a common thing here to ‘wear’ your baby – most babies we’ve seen are in prams/strollers and car seat capsules while being pushed around on supermarket trolleys – in supermarkets.) People are so fascinated when they notice us and when we tell them he is only 2 days old… they gasp and say: “Oh honey, you need to go home.” I think they mean well and wish us well… they just think it’s odd to go shopping with a 2 day old baby.

Jason bought an ABBA CD to play in the car for Ruben to listen to… ! Not sure what else to say about that. We did have to visit at least three different stores to find an ABBA CD. Ruben’s first song is now ‘Dancing Queen’.

The journey continues...

Birth day - Feb 16, 2006

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 06:14:41 GMT

The birthday Part I:

At 4.30am, (Adrian’s and my favourite time of day to enjoy life! - not!) we woke up and drove 25 minutes to Mozelle’s home where she sleepily greeted us and hopped into the car to go to Loma Linda Hospital another 20 minutes drive away through the hills. I have to confess I was so tired and it was really dark and with our son and Mozelle in the car all I could do was worry about crashing the car and not making it to the hospital!

We checked in at 6am and made our way to the birthing centre. Arriving at the hospital was the beginning of another stage in our journey. It was the start of a long but purposeful day. For the past 4 years Adrian and I have worried about seeing our surrogate in pain and hearing her scream…but it was not to be. The epidural a few hours in coupled with the many prayers from across the ocean made a difference. Also on the Monday at the appointment with Dr. Kim we asked him about the inducement day and he guessed that she was probably already dilated and that she will take about 12 hours, if not 18-24 hours after inducement. He also said he would be about 7 lbs. He was correct on one of his predictions.

Mozelle got dressed in a very fashionable “hospital gown” and peed in a cup and left it where the nurse said by the sink in the bathroom. Problem was they forgot to collect it. The nurse on 3 separate occasions forgot to take it away and Mozelle had to repeat her pee cup experience 4 times.

They hooked her up to the machine at about 7.30am and for the next 10 hours we listened to a constant boom boom boom boom as Ruben’s strong and sometimes fluctuating heart beat pulsated through the room driving me crazy.

Thursday was probably the longest day of our lives. We didn’t get much sleep before we had to be up by 4.30am. It was a really cold morning… probably around 0 degrees. By the time Mozelle was ‘set up’ in the birthing room, we got to see the sun rise. You can watch and hear Ruben’s heart and Mozelle’s contractions via a monitor which kind of drove me crazy as I was constantly over analyzing it. Every time Ruben’s heartbeat and/or Mozelle’s contractions appear to go up or down (outside the ‘normal’ range), I got excited/anxious/worried. The pitocin (not sure if that’s how it’s spelt) was not administered to Mozelle until about 8am. Mozelle was already 3cm dilated before they started the inducement. She was also already showing contractions which she hadn’t felt… and thought that they were just the baby’s movements. After checking her cervix, Dr Kim, estimated that she would be ready to give birth by 6pm that night. As it was only about 8.30am, it was going to be a long day. We did have plenty of time to talk which was really nice. Mozelle was quite calm and we pretty much just chatted all day even though I was so exhausted. I did have a short nap – maybe 5 minutes! Mozelle said she was a little nervous and wanted to make sure she got the epidural which was not due until her pain level was around 5 out 10… around mid-day it was still around 3 out of 10. Rick, came by around midday and Jason went to get some breakfast for us – Krispy Kreme donuts, 2 bananas a breakfast burrito (this tortilla thingy with egg, ham steak, salsa, tater tots and some other stuff we couldn’t work out) and an apple. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much coffee. I could only manage a little bit of food even though I was starving. We watched TV. Will and Grace came on, the Christmas episode. We watched the baby monitor thing and Mozelle’s contractions, talked to the nurses, laughed a bit, hugged each other, and took some photos. We kept telling Mozelle words of encouragement and she’d say “you guys ARRRE so funny”. We told her that our family and friends were saying prayers for us and that even our friend Finian was setting his alarm for 1am to say a prayer. The staff at the birthing centre at Loma Linda was fantastic! They were so excited for us, were so exceptional in their care and were genuinely interested in us and our story. We felt so supported and ‘loved’! And I think the nurses were also quite fascinated by our accents. There was even a social worker who gave us and Mozelle some emotional/practical support. And a young chaplain who looked lie a Hollywood Movie star. She visited to congratulate us and give a little prayer which was an optional thing that Jason and I asked for. Her prayer was really good. (Jason here) It was really nice to have someone pray for my family in our time of need for a change I really appreciated it even though (as some chaplains seem to do, she didn’t take care with getting our names right!) The staff actually couldn’t understand why surrogacy was not possible or does not have the same legal framework in Australia… it didn’t make sense to them because they thought that we are more socially progressive than the States.

The anesthetist, a young doctor who probably also auditioned along with our obstetrician for a role in Grey’s Anatomy (once again), eventually came by around noon to administer the epidural. Jason and I couldn’t watch and it was a good thing Rick was there to be with Mozelle while he ‘installed’ the needle. It is such a scary procedure. Mozelle said it felt weird and had to keep really still coz at the same time she was having small contractions. Even scarier.

As we didn’t know how much time we had, we decided to get something to eat for lunch/dinner around 3pm. So we left Mozelle and Rick but by the time we hopped in the car and drove down the rode, Rick rang us on the mobile to tell us that her water just broke. In retrospect, we would have had plenty of time to get something to eat but we just didn’t want to miss anything so we turned around and went back to the hospital. Although I was famished, I didn’t feel like eating anyway. Mozelle had dilated around 6cm. I’d been fairly relaxed all day but this time I started to feel nervous. It was 3.30pm, I think.

My hands felt clammy and I was feeling short of breath. Jason and I would look at each in wonder other every now and again. Because Mozelle was having an epidural she couldn’t feel her contractions. We were taken by surprise when the midwife said she was completely dilated as she could only see the baby’s head! Ruben was on his way! Within minutes, the delivery room was filled with important people busying themselves preparing the room. All of a sudden, the room which felt like a normal hospital room, had lights and gadgets turned on and it became a full on baby delivery space. I didn’t know where to place myself at first as we hadn’t discussed it. But somehow Rick, Jason and I just arranged ourselves without talking about it. We were quickly becoming overwhelmed by what was about to happen. There wasn’t much talking in the room. In fact, it was really quiet because Mozelle was not making any noise. All you could hear was the midwife talking her through the breathing and the pushing. Rick offered to take photos. Jason and I were fidgeting. Mozelle was given an oxygen mask to help her breathing or pushing or both. Her will and strength was something we were blessed with being a part of. Mozelle Harris is an amazing woman whom we will be forever grateful... What was about to happen was going to change our lives forever.

Mozelle pushed 4 times. And then it happened. Dr Kim, with his amazing god-like hands literally pulled him out. For a moment, he had to tell Mozelle to stop for a second as he pulled the umbilical cord from around his neck over his head in one swift movement. And Ruben came out – one rather large newborn baby crying his lungs out. Before I knew it, Dr Kim, was showing us where to cut the cord. I was worried that Jason would freak out as he’s not so good with blood but he was fine. The entire process was so overwhelming it didn’t matter. And it didn’t matter either that it was all kind of disgusting, (I stopped looking at the ground because it looked like a slaughterhouse down there – J). By this time, we were both crying. Jason, almost uncontrollably. I had my hand to my mouth… feeling, what was I feeling? Wonder, awe, excitement, joy, exhilaration…. Q!owierulractjf;! – that’s a new word I invented to describe whatever it was we were feeling. It is so difficult to describe in words – such an astonishing and wonderful experience. I felt so proud of Ruben. And also so proud of Mozelle who showed such courage and strength throughout the process. She was in control. She kept saying beforehand that “I just want him out… so you can have your son.” I gave her a hug and she just smiled. I was so teary – Adrian. Jason went over to Mozelle and kissed her many times and she said “oh you guys are so funny!”.

It is astounding to see a little human come out of another human. I watched in amazement while the nurses quickly cleaned him up and performed the APGAR test. Can’t remember what the letters represent… but I know it’s an important bit that they need to do with newborn babies. They also gave him a vitamin K injection. The nurses and midwife were like God’s soldiers preparing him for the world. As soon as they weighed him and declared his weight… everyone exclaimed: “Omigod he’s a big baby! – 9 pounds 11!! Oh my God!” The nurses were so thrilled and animated by this 3 month old baby that was just born! The first thing I noticed was that Ruben seemed so calm and he was alert and opening his eyes. I put my face close to his and he just stared at me – Adrian.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing. Ten minutes after Ruben was born, someone from the ‘admitting desk’ requested us to come down and see them. Adrian went down as I was holding Ruben at that moment and when he returned my heart nearly broke as he looked so distraught. This (and we don’t wish to be disrespectful) grossly fat woman with a bright red weird face) like an uglier “the computer says no” lady from Little Britain had said to Adrian: “Where is your insurance because this won’t cover anything.” Her computer simply said: “No.” So I gave Ruben to his dad and Rick (Mozelle’s other half) came down to the ‘admitting desk” with me. He managed to get me to speak to her superior as this woman was not being helpful. She was only making me more upset. I need to say something about Rick. He has been amazing from day one. In fact as I sat there listening to the supervisor (who is much prettier…we sound so shallow) tell me she needed evidence that this insurance which we had paid $15,000 for was legitimate, I burst into an even greater mess breaking down into a blubbering mess, thinking we may have to sell our house if we had to cough up $40,000 more. Rick took over and I don’t know exactly how but he helped it make sense and it was fixed up by the next morning. I gave him a kiss of gratitude. Rick a burly man who is into football has these huge muscles and is a wonderful father to his kids, Brooke and Bailey, and we just love him and thank God for him.

Part II shortly after we feed Ruben and feed ourselves.

Ruben is born

Sat, 18 Feb 2006 06:17:09 GMT

We just left the hospital. It is strange to be out in the real world with just the three of us - A family!
We're not sure where to start. So much has happened since Wednesday.

Ruben Andrew was born on Thursday 16th Feb. 2006, at 5.43pm. He weighed 9 lbs and 11 ounces. He was 53cm long. The nurses at the birthing centre exclaimed: "Omigod, he's a big baby!" And he is. In fact some of his 0000 newborn outfits will not fit him.

Gotta tend to Ruben will write more tomorrow.
J & A

5 hours 45 mins

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 07:20:12 GMT

This will be a short one. We have to get up at 4.30am tomorrow to pick up Mozelle. It's 11.15pm now. We have to be at the hospital by 6am. We've had a relaxing but still tiring day. Had a short panic attack about the paperwork this morning but all is well now. Cath and Anthony made dinner again. We're packed and ready. Love all your emails. Sorry we can't reply to every one right now. Within 36 hours from now Ruben will be born. Thank you again for your prayers, good thoughts and your love. Now it's just 5 hours and 39 minutes. Good night.

speed demon

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 07:32:21 GMT

It is still difficult to get up early. We had to leave the house by 8am today and we just managed to quickly shower, have a drink of OJ and a fruit. The traffic is horrendous on the freeways so we had to allow plenty of time to get to Riverside even though it is not that far away. Before we left for Knott's Berry Farm, we spread the gospel of the Essendon Football Club by giving Rick two glorious Essendon shot glasses as a gift. He loved them.

After packing the kids in the car, we left Mozelle's place around 9.30am. We followed her to Knott's Berry Farm in our car. Mozelle drove her car. And she drives fast. A real speed demon. She didn't give us much time whenever she changed lanes. She didn't indicate and she was clocking 80-90mph - a speed we are not used to. A couple of times we almost lost her on the freeway while we were clocking 90mph - around 145kmh to keep up with her! Can you imagine, Ruben is also travelling at 145kmh in her tummy?

Knott's Berry Farm is apparently one of the oldest theme parks in California. But it has had a facelift in recent years with some crazy new rides that look suicidal. And Jason and Janis rode them all. Even Rick, a burly big man, was sensible enough (like me - Adrian), to not get on them. One roller coaster ride consists of a 20 storey drop that spirals down as you freefall. You travel up there at 100kmh in less than 5 seconds or something. It's super scarey. I was terrified just watching Jason be in it. Janis screamed so loudly you could hear her across the entire park. There were at least 5 different roller coasters and they both rode each one twice. The only ride I got on was the lame little boat ride with Brooke (Mozelle's 4 year old daughter). And the rest of the time I got to just sit around, take pictures, watch the others go on the rides, eat and chat with Mozelle, who of course didn't go on any of the rides except the horse-drawn carriage thingy.

When we stopped for lunch, Mozelle wanted bbq ribs. So thats what we had. Adrian and I pondered whether we'd have chicken and pork ribs or pork and beef ribs or one of the other 20 different combinations and permutations you can have in this great country. The others all ordered a chicken and ribs combo each which included garlic bread, baked potato and a Humongous 10 litre coke. Ok so it was only 2 litres. Adrian and I were starving but still decided to share a serve of pork ribs and 1/4 chicken. Omigod... it was like being in a Flinstones cartoon. The ribs were from some dinosaur that 4 people could munch on at a time. Both women devoured their servings and we struggled with our 25000 calorie helping of yummy meat. Mozelle said we didn't eat much. But most people know we are big eaters, we are just not ginormous eaters. Janis and Mozelle (apart from the baby in her tummy) are thin and when Janis told Adrian she felt like she had a small weight problem, he replied with: "do you hide it in your hair?" Cos it certainly ain't anywhere else.

After eating it was time for Janis and I to throw it all up on the scariest ride in the park. The XCELERATOR. I have never been so scared on a ride or so deaf. Janet screamed at the top of her lungs that I still can't hear anything in my left ear. Yet when we looked at the photos the theme park take during a ride to gouge you out of another $20, I look terrified, old and bald and she had this beautiful smile with perfect teeth as if she was posing for the latest marie claire cover.

As we hopped off the ride I said to Janis: "I was so scared I shit myself." Her horrified expression told me she thought I was being literal!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She didn't get it. I had to explain that it was figurative, cos if I had, I certainly wouldn't have told her!

The drive home was tiring. I could hardly stay awake. I wanted to stay awake so I can get a good night's sleep. Plus I had to keep Jason awake as he was driving. The traffic was really bad and at some parts almost did not move for ages. It took us almost 2 and half hours to get back to Mozelle's house. We had a great day. It was fun to spend time with Mozelle, her sister, Rick and the kids. She is an amazing woman who was composed, peaceful and strong just 36 hrs from labour. We so love her.

We bought some running shoes that only cost $40 but almost cost us our lives. We think its better to walk from one store car park to the next one. The cars in the vicinity dont agree. We keep forgetting to look left when crossing the road or running across the road for that matter. And the intersections are not pedestrian-friendly. We have now decided to drive everywhere even if it's a mere 35 metres. Plus we feel like we are the only people walking on this earth.

We spent the evening with Anthony and Catherine. Anthony made an awesome spag bol and the conversation was really wonderful and inspiring about love, life and family. Some people truly are gifts from God. A & C have given us peace and joy and a comfortable place to sleep for which we are forever grateful. Someone once said to me there are modern day Jesus type people who are there when you really need them. A & C are currently ours.

Thank you so much for all your emails, your prayers and your love. Your words, encouragement and support mean a lot.

Tonight is our final unbroken sleep for a long time. Must sign off.

T -30.5 hours.

J & A

basketball belly

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 07:45:26 GMT

It took three snoozes of the alarm to get us out of bed. It was close to 10am. I'd promised to takes some portraits of Mozelle's kids today. Our appointment with the obstetrician is in the afternoon. The neighbourhood where we are staying is very Wisteria Lane. It's so quiet, clean and well kept. I haven't seen any of the neighbours yet though. Not even Bree.

We headed out to Riverside and got some lunch before seeing Mozelle and her family. Mozelle's sister, Janis, is staying with the family to help with the kids. Janis is really sweet. She's funny and thinks that Australians swallow and spit kangaroo poop for fun. She saw it in a movie somewhere. J and I had never heard of this crazy 'past time' nor seen it in anywhere. We tried to demonstrate how it was done... just kidding.

The kids were quickly made up for the photo shoot and A had a great time playing with them. Mozelle afterwards offered to let us take a belly shot....omigod it was like a skinny beautiful woman with the biggest basketball popping out of her stomach. How on earth she will push this basketball out on Thursday is anyone's guess.

We waited for over an hour at Loma Linda hospital. We may pay premium in the USA for medical services but you still wait longer than at St. Vincent's! It didn't matter so much as we got a chance to talk and laugh. At one stage, Mozelle's husband, Rick, was on her cell phone and suddenly exclaimed "Rick, Rick you are dropping out, I can't hear you." And then she made a loud ssshhhh-ing sound and hung up on him. We were laughing so loudly everyone in the waiting room started laughing with us. Obviously she was pretending.

Adrian got to meet the obstetrician for the first time, who by the way is gorgeous. He looks like he's just auditioned for a role in Scrubs or Grey's Anatomy. After Mozelle got weighed and we were told to look away (fair enough) she went to pee in a cup. We didn't see that but it was funny to see her holding a cup of pee as she entered the room.

They took her blood pressure (ok) and then we heard Ruben's heartbeat which was perfect. Dr says he'll be about 7 pounds (Mozelle is slightly relieved) and we're booked in for the inducement 6am Thursday LA time (1am Friday Melb time). We will get up at 4.30am, pick up Mozelle and head to the hospital. Depending on whether she has dilated or not we will be there for up to 18 hours to birth!

Afterwards we went and bought some awesome jeans for $30 a pair (130 there!) and a couple of business shirts (20 versus 75 in OZ) and had chinese for dinner. While we excitedly and anxiously pondered Thursday together.

I have managed to stay on the right side of the road so far!! And we haven't gotten lost. The mountains around here are amazing...Like massive Grampians as far as the eyes can see. And we're surrounded by it. Some with snow.

We saw the new Harrison Ford film "Firewall" in a crappy cinema and we were the only ones in there until the stalker, I mean another patron came in to sit behind us.

It was a 5.5/10 typical harrison ford movie.

Then we went to the supermarket to get some shampoo...after 15 minutes of trying to decide which one we just picked one I then stole another guys trolley and had to apologise profusely.

Now we are home and getting up early tomorrow to go to Knots Berry farm, a theme park with massive roller coasters, with Mozelle and her family for Valentines day. We will tell you about that tomorrow. A has started packing the baby bag for the hospital already.

T - 3 days and counting....

Love

J & A

LA touchdown

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 07:22:10 GMT

The flight to LA was fairly uneventful. I got to read my book 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' and watched 'March of the Penguins'. I didn't get much sleep as usual. Maybe three hours. It's always a struggle for me to sleep on planes. Plus it didn't help that I was a little excited about what will be happening in a few days. The exciting thing though was that we got good seats - the emergency exit row which meant that we were able to stretch our legs and get up anytime without having to squeeze between the front and back row seats. And a very bizarre coincidence also occurred in that the cabin crew who sat in front of us during take off and landing were called "Elvina" and "Andrew". Elvina and Andrew are J's parents first names! They are both excited about Ruben's arrival. Elvina wanted to check her roster to find out if she was flying on our way home. Andrew was expecting his first baby and he noted the book I was reading and the website for the baba sling.

So we arrive in LAX and I'm totally exchausted. I could barely read the road maps for J to get us out of the rental car place and to Tita Bong's house in Burbank. And of course we had our first argument in the car. We could never be contestants in 'The Amazing Race' coz we'd be hopeless! The sun was shining and the weather was fine and beautiful... you could even see the Hollywood sign which is normally shrouded in LA smog.

Our first stop was the nearest mall in Burbank - we needed to get a prepaid cell phone and a baby car seat. It took J a good 15 to 20 minutes to decide on a cell phone as there were too many to choose from. And I didn't have the head space for it as I could barely keep my eyes open. When we'd purchased the phone and was activating our account at a pay phone we found out that we could not send text messages overseas even though we were told by the Best Buy salesperson that it was possible. Oh well. I think we didn't have the energy to complain coz I can't remember how we decided on keeping it.

I was so tired that I didn't think to read the manual first before trying to install the baby car seat. It was only when I couldn't get it to work after 10 mins that I found the manual cleverly hidden underneath the contraption. It was all done in the Kmart carpark. We also visited Target and a few pharmacies to check out baby formula, baby wipes and nappies or diapers as they call them here. To stay awake, we had coffee at Krispy Kreme's of course. Amazingly we only had two glazed doughnuts each... not the usual twelve in a box. We're saving for the next few days I think.

It was wonderful to see Tita Bong again. She is such a beautiful person and welcomes us in her home like her own children. I don't know how we would have coped if we hadn't met her. She is my mum's bestfriend from highschool and has lived in the States since the 70's. She has two children of her own. She has three grandkids. She is beside herself about the imminent birth of our son. She took us out for lunch at a nice Chinese restaurant with her grandson Marcus then we browsed at a Barnes & Noble bookstore. J ended up buying a couple of books for Ruben.

To keep active we walked through Ikea (which felt like walking through the Richmond store in Melbourne). J couldn't help buying the really cheap step ladder as we passed through the children's section. It's a step ladder for Ruben even though he won't be able to stand on it for at east 12 months! We also saw the movie 'Match Point' which on viewing influenced by jetlag was crap but in reflection was really amazing!

Today we struggled out of bed to awake at 9am, had brekkie with Tita Bong and drove the 2 hours to Mozelle's house. She looks amazing, she is in her normal healthy weight with a big basketball bursting out of her stomach. It was really good to see and hear her and know our son is in a good place while he waits to meet us. We got to play with her children who warmed to us quite easily. We distibuted the customary Tim Tams which Bailey, the youngest, devoured and managed to cover her whole being in!

After a wonderful visit and the news that the next doctor's appt is tomorrow we headed to Anthony and Catherine's beautiful home in Redlands, right near the hospital where Ruben will be born later this week. They made us a beautiful dinner and the conversation was fabulous.

Day 2 is now over and we look forward to tomorrow. Time for sleep.

J & A

3 more sleeps!

Wed, 08 Feb 2006 03:27:09 GMT

I'm getting so excited that I'm not getting much sleep. I wake up in the middle of the night and think about our son who is only 8 days away from being born.

I finally started painting the drawers that will go in the nursery. I had some help from J with the initial coat. I think I will finish it tonight. The original colour was black so I've had to put up to five coats of white primer to cover the dark colour underneath. Then I've painted the drawers in three different and separate colours - Lime, Orange and light blue - I can't remember their exact names - but I do remember that the orange one is called Poppyseed. It's turning out quite nice. I have two plants to leave in the nursery while we are away to soak up the fumes - well that's the theory anyway. The paint is only water-based so it's not terribly toxic. Will also keep the window slightly open and the blind up to let some light in. Hopefully, Melbourne doesn't get too hot again while we are away.

Work is slightly stressful as I try to finish crazy projects and have attended well over a hundred hand-over meetings in the past few days... well not exactly a hundred - maybe 5. But it's all very exciting as I only have three days left of work then I'm on leave for three months! yey! Have been working hard to complete three wedding orders this week. I was practicing swaddling with a Teddy Bear the other day and also fastening and unfastening the car restraint.... with a Teddy Bear. I hadn't looked at how to work the straps and things since we had it installed.

We have been doing too many things after work that we haven't started packing yet. We will do this tonight. My mum is coming over for dinner. Not sure what to cook yet. She has some stuff for from the Philippines, I think.

A

busy bits

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 04:26:28 GMT

Work has been extremely busy. I have less than two weeks left and everyone at work seems to be panicking and giving me last minute things to do. Coupled with that, I shot a wedding a last Saturday which needs work and I have a wedding this coming Saturday which will keep me busy the following week. And a couple from a wedding I did a few months ago have placed an order for a large number of re-prints... and some very curly cropping requests. I need a day off I think.

We plan to start packing this weekend. We also want to paint Ruben's drawers sometime before we leave too... not sure when yet. We've bought the paint. The weather has finally cooled down a little. It's been so hot and humid in Melbourne lately, it's very tiring.

I had to get my bike serviced coz it felt like it was about to fall apart. It was so worn that the front derailleur and associated bolts and bearing bits had to be replaced.

We purchased a Baba Sling - to carry Ruben in. We decided we prefer this type of carrier to the snugli/bjorn type. A couple of friends of ours are using the Baba Sling for their newborn and he's really comfy and content in it. Plus I reckon it looks great and you're always very close to your baby.

The school year started this week and it was Jason's first day back at school with the kids. They've all been very much looking forward to seeing him again.

I shrug my shoulders

Wed, 25 Jan 2006 06:24:28 GMT

I am often confronted with a situation or an issue that is challenging... which is great. I usually have a philosophy about most things in life that require an understanding of where I am at... whether I believe something or not, whether I agree or disagree, or whether I even know anything about the subject... If I don't know much about it, I try to find out more... Often I make a decision about something because it affects me personally or my family, the people I love and also in a wider sense, the rest of the community, society, the world and the environment. So often, I have to take sides. I can never agree with the person who jumped out of his car and ran after me calling me "an !%$#@ gook" (derogatory term for asian), or the person who thinks I will burn in hell because I just happen to be married to a man, or Industrial Relations reforms that will undermine job security, the minimum wage and one of the reasons why Australia is a great place to live in; or the person who puts women down and treats them with such disrespect; or the fact that we are not putting enough money into sustainable energy; the fact that millions of people are still living in third world conditions and so on.

I find it difficult to believe that people can disagree with my actions and at the same 'see the commitment behind my actions and respect me for it'. What does that mean exactly? How can anyone disagree or oppose someone and respect them at the same time? How can a person 'respect' another person they don't believe in? It is such a contradiction, or isn't it? Especially when we deal with 'big' issues like same-sex marriage.

A

omigod

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 04:21:15 GMT

Yesterday Adrian and I had the car seat placed in the back seat professionally which means that the front passenger seat is now less roomy.. I guess its preparing us for how Ruben will invade our personal space!

It also feels very real and scary and exciting. Can't believe its less than a month away.
J

of course...

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 00:19:40 GMT

Of course, my work is valuable. I guess, I was just comparing myself and being a bit harsh. I mean working for the UN sounds exciting. I can't do everything, and we can't be everything for everyone. I just do my bit and strive to do more.

We had the car seat (child restraint) installed yesterday. The child-restraint installer dude was quite comprehensive and explained how the whole system works and what happens in the event of an accident, why it needs to be installed in a particular way, etc. etc. He showed us how to put baby in and take baby out which is a four step process. I need to practice with a teddy bear I think... as it was all too confusing for some reason. Now there's a little baby chair in the car, it's strange. He's coming soon! Yey!

A

sausages for dinner

Tue, 17 Jan 2006 00:34:01 GMT

We went to see our friends Cas and Dylan last night for dinner. Cas prepared a wonderful meal of sausages, peas and mashed potatoes. Sounds like your old run of the mill 'bangers and mash'... but no, the sausages were very gourmet smothered with a mysterious dark onion gravy. We even had fried asparagus wrapped in proschuitto and cheese for entree. It was yum.

We hadn't seen Dylan in 6 months. He has been in Banda Aceh working for the UN in the rebuilding of infrastructure. How great is that? He did tell us what he did but I still can't explain it... something to do with maps and mapping? Anyway, it all sounds much more like contributing to helping rebuild people's lives than I what I currently do now. I think about the work I do (as I hoe into the peas)... is it valuable to the world?

Jason's uncle and his family came by yesterday for a visit. They gave us some more hand-me-down clothes. It's piling up in a big heap in the nursery. Must go and do some work now.

A

Counting down

Mon, 16 Jan 2006 04:10:40 GMT

We spent our post Christmas days at Barwon Heads. It was 'divine' as Jason's Auntie (Anne) would say. Jason and I got to relax on the beach, eat lots of ice cream and play scrabble. I got even darker again after boogie-boarding and being out in the sun so much. Plus we had some really hot weather leading up to New Year's.

I was looking forward to going back to work after a long-ish Christmas/New Year holiday because it meant my paternity leave is only a few weeks away. Yey! I've been sorting through all the hand-me-down clothes that friends and family have given us for our son who is due to be born on 16th Feb 2006. I'm getting a little anxious but mostly excited and happy. Anxious coz I'm not sure what sort of parent I'm going to be. The sleepless nights don't even worry me. I just want to be a good father.

A